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Donald seemed to be interestingly elusive. Anton she didn’t see, to the point it appeared to be as if he were avoiding her. She was curious about that momentarily, but thought little of it later. The idea he might be because he now knows she likes him crossed her mind…recalling Thursday. He had asked how she liked the game. “It was excellent,” she had replied. Her friend Tania had added, ‘Carmen was going to go down and say hello but was too shy.’ Confused to who Tania was referring, he had replied “To the —- team?” To this he had received a “…yeah” in response, so exaggerated and slow she was surprised he believed it. He was either extremely dense or extremely naïve. Either way, Tania added afterwards, “We stayed after to try and look for you but couldn’t find you.” He then replied that he didn’t believe her, that he was there, but Carmen added, “Yeah, we did, I made her stay.” “Yeah?” Carmen replied, “yeah, I figured we should at least thank you for the tickets, but I couldn’t. The soft fabric I felt against my skin and lightly tentedpanties reminded me that I was wearing a nightie, and as I realized whatday it was, I felt my heart begin to beat rapidly in fear, excitement,and anxiety, but I couldn't place whether it was fear about today andexcitement that my ordeal was over, or excitement about today and fearabout what came next.The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was afraid of what others really thought of me. I remembereddressing up for our date in one of my favorite outfits of the wholeexperience. She said.
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